She Said No: Why Men React Violently To Refusal of Sex

We found out the reason for the aggressive behavior of the partner


Any rejection is always an unpleasant experience, especially when it comes to personal relationships. For a woman, a partner’s indifference can greatly affect self-esteem and adequate perception of herself as a woman, and with men, everything is a little more complicated – the stronger sex often falls into a real rage if intimate plans are thwarted through no fault of his. Why is this happening? We decided to figure it out.

It is believed that for a man, sex is a physiological release, which has nothing to do with emotions, but not everything is so simple. In fact, the self-esteem of the male partner suffers no less than the female partner, and this is one of the reasons why a man often reacts too violently to a refusal from a woman.

You can also often come across the opinion that men are used to hearing refusals, since most often they are the ones who take the initiative, and yet psychologists, and men themselves, claim that refusal to have sex can cause serious psychological trauma and even lead to depression if a man hears refusals more often than catches interested glances on himself


Why is it so difficult for men to perceive a straightforward “no?”

It’s all about our differences in the psyche: a woman can refuse intimacy today, and tomorrow she will offer herself, and this is not surprising, given the dependence of female sex drive on the emotional mood. A man, on the other hand, perceives a refusal on a particular day as complete indifference to him as to a man in general. It seems to him that the woman, in principle, no longer wants him, which means that something is wrong with him; hence the inferiority complex develops with the addition in the form of aggression towards the woman.

Moreover, aggression is often replaced by a complete indifference to sex or to intimacy with a particular woman, although she herself may not understand what happened in general, what could cause such a reaction in her beloved.

In other words, aggression on the part of a man is nothing more than a defensive reaction when it is difficult for a person to cope with emotions and keep them inside.

What to do?

First, do not respond with aggression to aggression – you will only start a serious conflict, which in special cases can lead to a break. Try to calm yourself down and calm your partner down. Secondly, sit down and talk: if in your couple there are misunderstandings due to intimacy, it is important to discuss this situation and find a common language, if before that you or your partner did not understand well the hints of the other half. Be honest and do not shy away from discussing key points – the further development of your relationship depends on this.

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